As a caveat to avoid the usual “but I like that or have experienced that” mindset. I’m not saying that these usual ways of portraying things are of no interest to literally any actual sub guys or dom women. I’m saying the “this is what is usual and you should expect this” is complete nonsense and extraordinally frustrating to an actual submissive guy like me.

As background, in my early 20’s through my career in a different city at that time, I came to be around a significant number of women who were very dominant/powerful both romantically and sexually.

They had some of the usual stereotypical trappings of powerful women:
* Successful Career (either artistic or business or both)
* Money
* A lot of leisure time on their hands
* A taste for attractive (and in my case younger) men.

But pretty universally that’s where the similarity between what you see in porn/similar spaces and my reality of being around that group of women ends.
Very few of them were fit looking desperate housewife clones. There was only one that I remember and she never interacted with me at all. Most were on the heavier side and up. Some were flat chested and extremely skinny. One had lost both her legs below the knees in a car accident. Another had a double mastectomy.

None of those things stopped any of them from having their way with a captive audience of fit young men half their age or less. I say half their age because they were mostly 40’s and up which should surprise no one since the successful career, money and leisure time isn’t usually something most have that much access to until they’re older.

The conventionally attractive youngish porn star look wasn’t a thing, and seeing women shown this way really ruins any possibility of realism to the fantasy they’re trying to show me.

In their day to day dealings with friends and coworkers their personalities ran the usual range of sweet and kind, to crass and funny, or shy and quiet (yes Virginia, there are shy women who like to be in charge when no one is looking). They certainly weren’t all dominant all the time. They mostly were all happy and loved life though. But yes get them away from others and into their own clique or with some alcohol and then they got very forward and very hands on very fast.
They could be a bit crude or blunt but no one was talking the way you see in most of those videos or femdom memes. Certainly not at first meeting. This sorta thing absolutely ruins the fantasy for me. Completely breaks the 4th wall just not directly.

Even sexually it gets things so so wrong.

* None of them asked me to put on women’s clothing. Ever. Not once.
* Literally none of them had any interest in pegging. Not a single one.
* They most definitely weren’t going to want to put on a plastic dildo and have me suck that instead of eating them out. Madness.
* Chastity cages… you have got to be kidding me. I get that this is a thing for some, but it’s a really tiny some. Turns out the majority of dominant women actually like dicks, when the time is right and when it’s on their terms.
* And what is with the dominant woman spending more time sucking the guy off than he spends eating her out???? That doesn’t happen in that kind of power dynamic. At least it never did with me. Hell it’s probably been about 8 years since I received a bj at all. Why are there so many blow jobs in these scenes?
* And lastly but probably most egregiously, why in the f u c k does the scene end with the guy blasting his cum on her face… like why??? This is sooo dumb. They can’t even get through a 10 minute scene without removing her power?? Why the fuck would I want to watch this? I literally clicked on it because it was about a dominant woman and you ditch it part way through.
That isn’t what happens in most actual sexual encounters let alone one featuring a dom woman/sub guy.
People seriously need to experience the joy of a woman who is a heavy squirter cumming all over her guy’s face and then maybe they can get this right.

So what’s the bottom line? These things are for guys with a sub fantasy. That’s the audience. And I literally do not understand why there isn’t more porn for actual dom women and sub men. There’s a lot of us. You’d think they’d want to cater to that market.