Guess who wants to know that you want to be pegged? NO ONE
Guess who wants you to send a message and immediately start giving commands? NO ONE
Guess who feels honored that you will let them do “anything” to your body? NO ONE
Guess who wants to be called a “worm” or “pig” by a total stranger? NO ONE

Well, no one looking for Power Exchange anyway.

These are things that horny fuckbois and scamming fake Doms say. (Without being in a dynamic first).

So what SHOULD you say? How DO you go about finding a partner?

Let me tell you these words of wisdom and take them to heart:
A woman doesn’t care about your kinks unless and until she cares about you.

Do NOT tell a potential partner what you want or what you are into until they want that information.
Before you can successfully find a partner you should first figure out who you are and what you are looking for. Do not look for people to “teach” you or “guide” you. Do not say you want to “try” something. No one wants to be your experiment or muse (unless that is something you have both consented to.) A potential partner is a PERSON.

Do not look for “a Femdom” or “a slave”. Look for a PERSON you are interested in and approach them as the special person they are. Let them know why they are special. What made you think that you had to reach out and connect with them?

Here is a list of bad reasons:
Because they are:
A Dom
A sub
Older
Younger
BBW
A particular race
A particular religion

None of these things makes a person special. It means You have a fetish and you are interested in getting that fetish met.
Nothing is more telling that a person does not care about me than when

they hit on me
I say “No”
and they ask “Do you have any friends or do you know any Doms who I can talk to?”

Wow! Is that what you would say to a woman at a bar in the vanilla world?
“Do you want to get out of here?”
“No?”
“Do you know any other woman at this bar that would like to go home with me?”

Do you think that would work?!
Then why do it to a kinky woman?

Like my boy says “A dominant woman is still a woman, she needs to be woo’d.”
And I agree.

So what information DO you share with a potential partner?

Before you try to match with a partner you need to know yourself.
Here are some things you need to sort out so you can properly communicate your needs and wants to a potential partner.
What is your role?
Are you a Dominant? Submissive? Switch?
What type of relationship are you looking for?
A 24/7 Total Authority Transfer? Bedroom Only? Online only?
What type of relationship structure do you need?
Monogamy? Poly?

OPTIONAL
If you have a strong preference for a type of relationship you may want to know that and express that in the early stages of vetting.
For example Mommy Domme / Little boy or girl, that is a limit for some. Master/slave may be terminology some people may not be comfortable with.
If you need a dynamic that is not as common, you may need to communicate that.
However, if you do not have a NEED in this area, I recommend that you stay open and flexible. If you find a potential partner, you can build a relationship and share desires at a later date. You and your partner can create a unique relationship tailored to both of you needs and wants as you grow.
No labels required.