Hello! And welcome to the Femdom Hub. I am so glad you found us. We are embarking on a grand mission that doesn’t seem to exist anywhere else. We are creating an educational website on all things femdom. This is not a site for titillation and fantasy. This is a place to learn the reality of femdom.

Before you poke around and begin to learn, let me tell you little about me. I have always been Dominant. First in friendships, then in dating, then in my career as a teacher, and finally in my vanilla marriage. I just didn’t KNOW I was dominant. I didn’t know about kink or power dynamics. I just knew I want things done the way I want them done and I want them done now.As far as my romantic life, I have never been out on a date with a guy who asked me. I have always done the asking. I choose the restaurant, we go back to my place where I have control. I make the first move, all the moves, climb on top….

So, when did I discover kink and my Dominant identity? Well, it starts with the fact that I spent a lifetime with HH breasts and I wanted to reduce them. So, in 2020, yes, during covid, I got them reduced to DD. I was almost 50 years old.

During my recovery I read erotic books. I have always been obsessed with innocent boys, virgins.. so I read a lot of erotica about that and somehow Amazon started suggesting femdom books.

After a few of these books I thought I just might be a dominant. So that pushed me online to do some research. I went to a chat room and immediately men asked me to dominate them. I was excited, nervous, and didn’t know a damn thing. But I agreed.

I took on 2 guys. I tried to guess what they wanted. It was stressful. They kept telling me it was whatever I wanted, but I didn’t understand. I kept trying to command them to do what I thought they wanted. And they topped from the bottom which made me unhappy but I didn’t know why.
Also, they were both extreme. The first one wanted extreme cbt. I didn’t know how to crush his balls virtually!
The second one wanted to be my human toilet. He asked me to describe every time I went to the bathroom. I hated it. I couldn’t do it.

So I decided that domination wasn’t for me. I got a new profile and was just a vanilla girl online.

A Few months later I was chatting with a man who asked if I was a domme and I didn’t know what to say. He said he got domme energy off of me.
We talked for awhile and I decided to try again, with his guidance. This time when he told me “it is whatever you want” I got it! It just clicked and I got it.

I soon took on more subs. I dommed exclusively online with no desire to meet irl. I was married. With kids. I couldn’t do this irl. Right?

One day, I don’t remember why, I looked up “dungeons near me” and I found the Academy of Fetish Arts (AFA.), in Cleveland, Ohio. Being a teacher, I thought a class would be the most natural thing for me to attend. I had to wait over a month or the next class fbut I finally attended a PractiCum class on “Negotiating a Scene”. It was invigorating, and exciting but I was also a little nervous. During the “PractiCum” part I met a man who showed me his toy bag and allowed me to try out some of his toys on my hand. I got to hold floggers and canes and whips for the first time! He also had tasers and knives and other intense play toys.

When I left the club that night I was excited but also confused. Nothing there was really what I was into. I didn’t see myself flogging or whipping or needling anybody. So I contacted a female Dom from that club, who actually is one of the founders of the AFA. I thought a woman might have more interests that align with mine, I thought she might be more “gentle”. Boy, That was a wrong assumption! I met her and her sub for lunch and we talked. I learned a lot.

A BDSM 101 class was my second visit. After the class I spoke with some members. Mostly male doms, but there was a female and a male sub. They explained to me about consent and communication and that I had to be more open with my husband and we had to spell everything out. I didn’t want to, but they all insisted and I figured they knew better than I did.

So the next day I talked to my husband and clarified cheating and boundaries and expectations. This led to a long emotional talk. He had some concerns that were very valid. He also had some misconceptions and some wrong information.

One thing he said struck me as true. He said that I seem to be excluding him. He said that this new lifestyle was something I was doing by myself and I didn’t want him with me. This was more than half true. He wasn’t interested so I didn’t include him. But the more I got involved the less I thought about him.

He said he wanted to go with me. I had to wrap my brain around that a little bit. That was kind of stressful. I told him that I didn’t know what I was doing. This journey I am on, I feel like I am driving the car but I don’t know where I’m going or what I’m doing. And now he wanted to sit in the passenger seat and I had to worry about him as well as worry about me.

In this new kink world I am finally my authentic self. Before walking into an event or class I gather up all my confidence and show up outgoing and friendly. I talk to people, I touch their arm or leg in a flirty manner, I give hugs. How would my husband handle that? Could I still act that way in front of him? Did I need to worry about his feelings? What would he be thinking?

In kink there are a few common pillars. “Respecting limits” is one of these pillars. And my husband had some limits. One of these was that I wasn’t permitted to go to a dungeon party without him, but he never had time to go. At this point I had some subs who were happy to meet me there, but when? When would we go? And how would my husband fit in?

Finally, my husband made the time. And he gave me permission to learn “non sexual” stuff like… impact play, wax… the tools. But that is not what really turns me on. I am in it for the power exchange, not the tools. I wanted a boy sitting at my feet or following my orders. My husband didn’t understand the power exchange part of it. How would he react?

In January of 2023 we went to our first play party together and I played a little and learned a lot. It was exciting.

On May 9, 2023 I met my boy, JoeBuXXX, at an AFA munch and I knew by the end of the munch I wanted him. One week later, on May 16, I told my first irl sub, JoeBuXXX, that he was mine.
On May 27, I put a collar on his neck and we enjoyed our first play party.

When I first started this journey I wished for a time machine because it didn’t occur to me I could be married and 52 and still get a chance to live my …. truth I guess it is!

If you’d like to read more about My life, and learn what shaped Me into Domina, continue reading at the link below: