What is Femdom?
Femdom is slightly tricky to define.
- A relationship in which the Dominant is female
- Kinky and/or BDSM activities where the female is the “top”. This is considered femdom roleplay by many who live Femdom 24/7
- An abbreviation for a “female dominant” or “female domination”.
- A genre of porn
Femdom can be in the bedroom only. It can be a Partial Authority Transfer (PAT). It can be a Total Authority Transfer (TAT). Femdom, like kink itself, can be whatever you define it to be. So, the trick is, when you are discussing femdom, you should define more clearly what you are talking about. Do not assume that when you say “I am into femdom.” that the other person is on the same page as you.
Instead you could say “I like a woman to take control in the bedroom.” or “I want a man to obey all of my commands.” or “I want to be her slave and be chained and naked.” or “I need a man who works at a good job, comes home and anticipates my every desire, until it is time for him to wake up and do it all over again.” OR any mixture of these things. Your definition of femdom only matters to you and your partner(s) or potential partners. You are the only ones who need to be on the same page about how you define it.
Other terms for “Femdom”
In a Dominant/submissive dynamic, the Dominant is the one who holds authority and makes decisions. The term “Dominant” can be shortened to “Dom” or “Domme.” While “Dom” has traditionally been associated with men, many non-men also identify with the term. “Domme” is sometimes used for female Dominants, but as a gendered term, its usage is declining. Ultimately, individuals should choose the term that resonates with them. The submissive, often abbreviated as “sub,” is the one who consensually grants authority to the Dominant. “Submissive” is a gender-neutral term.
The difference between a Master (Mistress)/slave (M/s) dynamic and a Dominant/submissive (D/s) dynamic depends on individual perspectives. Some believe there is no real distinction, viewing “Master” as simply a preferred title over “Dominant.” Others argue that M/s dynamics are more intense and structured than D/s, emphasizing strict rules, absolute obedience, and a full transfer of power, often in a 24/7 arrangement. In this view, the Master has complete authority, including decision-making, enforcing consequences, and even financial control, with the slave surrendering all power to them. However, many D/s relationships also incorporate some or all of these elements, blurring the distinction between the two.
A “Goddess” is a feminine-presenting Dominant who flourishes in a kink dynamic centered on worship, admiration, and devotion. She may establish consensual rules for her worshipper, often incorporating ritualistic or sacrificial elements, such as prayers and ceremonial behaviors. The worshipper takes on a role of deep reverence and submission, expressing intense adoration and respect for the Goddess, who is often symbolically or literally placed on a pedestal. This dynamic may also involve body worship, where the worshipper focuses their devotion on specific parts of her body—such as feet, hands, or the entire form—through acts like kissing, caressing, massaging, or other gestures of reverence.
A Mommy Domme is a Dominant in a kink/BDSM relationship who embodies a nurturing, protective, and caregiving role toward their babyboy or babygirl. This dynamic emphasizes care, guidance, and emotional support, with the Mommy Dom offering structure, discipline, and affection while fulfilling the submissive’s need for security and comfort. The term “Mommy” highlights the maternal and nurturing qualities central to this role. “Babyboy” and “babygirl” are terms of endearment and do not necessarily indicate age play; however age play is possible in this dynamic.
In BDSM, an owner/property or owner/pet relationship is a type of consensual power exchange dynamic where one person (the owner) takes on control, responsibility, and authority over another person (the property or pet), who willingly gives up a certain degree of autonomy or control within agreed-upon boundaries.