(To the best of my researching and reading ability. Please feel free to write in with things I missed and I will add it.)

Ancient and Mythological Roots
The idea of female dominance goes back thousands of years. In ancient Mesopotamia, people worshiped the goddess Inanna, who represented both love and war. Stories and songs described her as a powerful woman who even gods and men obeyed. Temples held rituals that involved sacred sexuality, and some women took on priestess roles to honor the goddess’s power. These early traditions connected erotic energy with female leadership.

Later, in medieval Europe, stories like that of Phyllis and Aristotle became popular. In this tale, the great philosopher Aristotle is shown being ridden like a horse and whipped by Phyllis. This story, meant to be funny, showed how a woman could control even the smartest of men. These myths and images show that the idea of strong, dominant women has existed for a very long time.

From the Middle Ages to the 1800s
In the 1700s and 1800s, especially in places like London, women began to take on dominance roles more openly, although it was still hidden from most of society. Some women ran what were called Houses of Discipline. These were places where men would pay to be spanked, whipped, or scolded by women in control. One famous woman, Theresa Berkley, created a special bench called the “Berkley Horse” to tie clients to during sessions.

At the same time, artists and publishers made pictures and stories about dominant women. These appeared in early magazines and postcards, often showing women in leather or corsets, holding whips. Even though this was underground, it kept the image of the powerful, commanding woman alive into the modern era.

The 1970s
In the 1970s, things started to change. People in BDSM communities began to meet, share ideas, and organize. One key person was Kat Sunlove, a former dominatrix and magazine editor. She helped popularize the terms “Dominant” and “submissive,” showing that power exchange wasn’t just about pain, it could be emotional, respectful, and based on trust.

Kat also talked about safewords, which allow a person to stop a scene if they feel unsafe. This idea made BDSM more focused on consent. Soon, groups like the Society of Janus began to teach these ideas, helping people understand that D/s could shape entire relationships, not just bedroom activities.

Later in the 1970s and 1980s, a woman named Nancy Ava Miller helped spread these ideas through her group PEP (People Exchanging Power). PEP held meetings and phone support lines so people could learn about safe, healthy D/s relationships. Her work helped bring more structure and acceptance to femdom and the people who practiced it.

The 1980s
In 1983, sociologist Gini Graham Scott wrote a book called Erotic Power. It was one of the first books to study D/s relationships in a serious way. She interviewed many people, mostly well-educated professionals, and found that D/s helped them feel closer, more trusting, and more emotionally connected. Scott created the term “D&S” to describe emotional and psychological dominance, separating it from S&M (which focused more on pain).

Scott also mentioned professional dominatrices, women who were paid to lead D/s sessions. These women didn’t always have sex with clients. Instead, they offered structure, discipline, or guidance. This was an early public look at a job that had mostly been kept secret before.

By the late 1980s, D/s had become a lifestyle for many people. That means they practiced it every day, not just occasionally. In femdom relationships, power was often shared through ongoing routines, emotional connection, and service, not just physical acts.

The 1990s
By the 1990s, professional dominatrices, also called pro-dommes, became the public face of femdom. These women offered paid sessions where they acted as Dominants, often in dungeons. They wore leather outfits, used props like whips or ropes, and created detailed roleplays. While popular media often made these women look extreme or mysterious, the reality was usually more careful and respectful. Many dominatrices focused on psychology, consent, and negotiation during their sessions.

In 1996, The Washington City Paper explained the difference between pro-dommes (who worked for pay) and lifestyle dommes (who lived their dominance full-time in relationships). Even though many people still misunderstood their work, pro-dommes helped show that women could hold power in ways that were both erotic and emotionally meaningful.

Today
Modern femdom is more inclusive and diverse than ever. People of all gender identities can be Dominant or submissive. What matters most today is consent, communication, and trust. And we can learn about D/s, find communities and connect with others more easily thanks to the internet and Fetlife. Workshops, podcasts, and social media help spread awareness about healthy femdom relationships.