Humiliation is the reduction of pride, which leads to a state of being humbled or reduced to submission. It is an emotion felt by a person whose status, either by force or willingly, has just decreased. It can be brought about through intimidation, physical or mental abuse or embarrassment if a person is revealed to have committed a socially unacceptable act.

Humiliation is a strong emotion, and like anxiety, fear, and shame, can arouse the nervous system. This, in turn, can make sexual arousal very intense if it is something both the Dom and the slave find exciting.

Degradation is the act of dehumanizing someone or making them less than human, such as using them as a piece of furniture or treating them as an animal.

Degradation is about being treated as something other than human–while humiliation focuses on causing someone embarrassment and shame. It is easy to see how these two things work together and often overlap.

I do tend to find this kind of mental stimulation to the slave very entertaining or exciting at times, but degrees vary and while I feel I am fairly harsh overall, the way I see some Doms address their submissives I do find distasteful. I remember long ago, a Dom I was meeting up with, to consider group play with said something along the lines of ‘yeah, I really like to treat them like shit’.

I remember I found that a bit distasteful. While I do like to do things that one might find humiliating, like not allowing eye contact, or calling them a degrading name, forcing them to say things they don’t really want to or chase a ball like a dog…I still view them as a cherished possession, so to speak.

I see one Domme on here I regularly come across and she often refers to her slave as ‘asshole’. I am not one to kink shame but I just find that such an odd term. An asshole is someone that is being a jerk and quite frankly, I don’t want to be around. I guess it’s a fine line but I hope those reading this understand what I mean.

As a sadist, while I obviously enjoy physical pain, humiliation is also a way to inflict strong feelings onto who I am playing with. It’s also a good way to remind them of their place and push them into that submissive mindset even further.

It doesn’t always have to be loud or tense. Sometimes it’s a nice, quiet, relaxing conversation where I would re-enforce the slaves place. Sometimes it’s in the heat of torture where I remind them why they are in this position, quite literally at times.

One thing I think a lot of people do not think about is how well humiliation goes along with praise. For those that desire both, combination of the two can be quite visceral. For example, if I have a slave sucking a cock for me and during that, I am telling them what a ‘cock sucking dirty whore’ they are…as soon as they finish, if I change that to what a ‘good whore’ they are, with a tonal change, that can bring about that praise they desire while still strongly keeping their mindset in the right spot, which can be very emotionally charging for them.
Both T and Q were very moved by both humiliation and praise. The combination affected and motivated them greatly.

One weekend, I was up at T’s place and T was giving me a massage. At one point, they said they needed to pee and wanted to get up. I told them not to move and to keep working. As time went on, T got more and more whiny about the urge to pee. Even something like this, not being in control of such simply bodily functions can be humiliating. Eventually I did let T release but made them do it into a cup, which I made them drink back. I am sure you can recall the shot glass game I played with a different sub that I wrote about a while back, same idea, different execution.

I put Q through a similar but equally as humiliating endeavour. She was starting to need to pee and was getting very uncomfortable. She was doing a lot of the squirming around women tend to do when they really need to go. She was wearing just a t-shirt and some basic cotton shorts. I told her she could let some of her urine go, but only what her panties and shorts would hold. Anything that spilled onto the floor, she would need to lick back up.

I will say, she did impress me with her ability to hold it in, for a long while, maybe a couple hours. Her shorts did eventually show signs of wetness but nothing leaked onto the floor. Of course, that only made me turn it up a notch. I ordered a pizza, and made her go out to her driveway, in her clearly pissed in shorts, and meet the delivery driver. She did protest slightly but in the end I think she knew it was fruitless and just went. I imagine that drove the humiliation up a notch.

After we ate, she was still holding strong, just letting out enough that her panties and shorts stayed wet but that was it. I told her to go to her room and wait for me beside the bed. I left her in there for about 15 minutes, before I came in. Just enough to build up some nervous anticipation.

I came in, laid a few towels layered on her bed and had her strip and lay down. I shoved her urine soaked panties into her mouth and started fucking her with a dildo. The idea was to make her lose control of her bladder. She was a hard nut to crack, so to speak. I had to ultimately get in there with my hands and pretty much ‘shake’ things around until her body just gave out on her. Shoving three fingers inside her and my thumb on her clit and basically continued until she came and pissed all over my hand.

I pulled the underwear out of her mouth and had her lick my hand off before letting her get up, change the bedding and take a cold water only shower. When she came out, she was crying and shivering. I wrapped her in a big clean towel and laid in bed with her for a while, until she calmed down and warmed up.

I can’t deny I have had a new idea floating around my head for a while…I won’t spill the details of it here…well, until after the fact…