Disclaimer: this text is for fun purposes only and it doesn’t represent the views of all Dominas. This text comes from my experience and the experience of other Femme Tops in FemDom for fun or work (or both). Please don’t take it too seriously.

* No, we don’t care about how you look, how influential or famous you are. We care about how you can be useful to us. With your services, with your money or bringing in fun new fetishes we haven’t seen anywhere before. We have LITERALLY thousands of likes on dating apps. We can choose whatever size, shape, colour, location and flavour of men we want. But we chose to be treated like a Queen. Because we can.

We know that for most of you, the way we look is the fuel behind your fetish. And the more ‘mainstream pretty’ we are, the better. What you may not know is how much that means in terms of work, time, energy and investment that goes into showing up looking our best every single day. But you won’t see us complaining about that because it’s important to you to keep that fantasy that we ‘woke up like this’. Well, we did not.
* If you are into humiliation, we will brag and/or laugh about you (without saying your name of course) with our besties if your fetishes are as pathetic as you. Unless of course, you beg us not to (you know, consent yada yada…).

* We may also jerk off to the power trip we get from making those pathetic fetishes come true. Our session memories sometimes are the best porn.

* There is an element of deep trust between Domina and sub. Something happens in those fifteen minutes between ‘a stranger we found online’ and the first “command” in a scene… We both feel it. We don’t talk about it, but it’s mutual.

* Sometimes we get ‘feelings’ or a little ‘attached’ to our subs. In a really unique way. Not the same as in a vanilla relationship. But in a ‘partner in crime’ type of way – much sexier and more interesting. And if the sub is a good one, we might even miss them when they’re gone.

* The ‘aftercare’ on the end of sessions isn’t just for you. It’s for us too. And yes, we also need it. Specially if I just nailed the skin of your genitals to a wood board, or made your nipple bleed, I’d like to hear you actually enjoyed it and I’m not a power-hungry monster, please. Thank you.

* We sometimes hear some spooky stories about ‘bad subs’: who attempt to be manipulative, or dox us, or other complex things that go beyond the realm of consensual. And we need to be equipped to deal with those. So, when your Domina sets a boundary, or has a ‘protocol’ on how and when to be contacted, or screening, don’t take it personally.

* There is a formula of what is expected of a Dominatrix in the general ‘collective subconscious’. Mastering and optimising that formula can be hard. But the most interesting and satisfying dynamics are the ones where those ‘formulas’ are shattered into pieces and we surrender to the unique FemDom dynamic present between the two (or more) persons in the room. Not the ‘expectations’ of what it should be. That takes so much more wisdom and intelligence than the ‘mainstream’ one.

* At some point, I scrolled Instagram, Twitter or whatever, and I could tell just by looking at the clothing someone was wearing and knowing where they bought it from or which event, bar, hotel or motel they were by looking at the background lol It’s a small world. The ones that stood out the most where bringing something unique, original and authentic to their creative processes.

* Our biggest day-to-day pain point are payment processors. High fees, low trust, financial discrimination and sensitive data collection are the most annoying part of FemDom as a career, or people into online FinDom. We can have credit scores affected, mortgages declined, and visas declined, and so much other worse stuff. So please bare it with us when we point out to alternative payment methods or cash. Your wildest fetishes won’t make us blink, but whispering the words “payment processor” will sure make us call the safe word lol.