I would like to speak to my fellow male subs. About something I think is very important.
There’s an issue I’ve been hearing in many different communities. How hard it is as a straight male sub to find a play partner. How much it sucks that the ratio of men to women is so stacked against us. That the “economics” of the situation make it nearly impossible for us to find what we are looking for. It gets expressed in a 1001 ways, but the idea behind it is the same: men are numerous, women are few, which leads to bad times.

Now, I’ve lived through this myself: at events, at play parties, in chatrooms and even in my previous vanilla dating life. A lot of us have had this experience, or hear others talk about it. It sucks. You feel worthless, desperate, envious, grow resentful… I know, I’ve been there. What if I told you there is a way to change this? That there is a way to feel awesome in these social situations? It’s simple too! Change your expectations.

Changing Your Expectations
I may have lost half of you at this point, but if you’re still reading you’re the ones that matter. Change your goals. Change your expectations. Change how you measure success. Right now, your goals are along the lines of finding a play partner, or finding a lifetime mistress, or finding a quick fuck, or something similar. You’re not succeeding much which means you feel like a failure. You give off creepy vibes which scare off potential partners. You are growing resentful which creates an ambiance that is hostile to the people you seek.

Try instead to give yourself one of these goals: meet someone interesting, learn something new, find a topic that mutually interest you, have a new experience. These are much easier goals to achieve, even if you are shy. These will leave you much more fulfilled at the end of the day. You don’t even need to do these exclusively with female dommes. Talk to fellow male subs, to male doms, to female subs, to trans switches, to genderqueer vanillas, to anyone, to everyone! Get to know people for who they are, not for what need they can fill. Don’t pretend to do this while keeping your previous goals, you won’t feel any better. Actually go out there with these objectives in mind. Open up your world. Try it and see how much better it gets.

“But Herrozod,” I hear you cry. “I don’t actually want to meet people. They’re scary and take a lot of work. I just want my needs filled.” Alright, no problem, go see a professional then. There’s no shame in that. There are people out there who are awesome at their craft. They can fulfill your needs better and easier than hanging around being gloomy in social situations can. You can get exactly what you want, what you need, that way. Then you won’t have to live with the stress and desperation that’s been plaguing you. You will be happier.

Nothing to Lose
If you’ve found yourself unfulfilled and resentful due to lack of interaction, try it. Try changing your goals. Even if it’s just a couple of times at first. It’s not like you’re enjoying yourself or getting your needs fulfilled right now anyway. Who knows, you might find yourself becoming happier!
(version française)