If you’re anything like me (and thousands of other new dominants and submissives), you are excited! You want to know it all and DO it all. You want to try it all and you want to do it NOW.  

But take a breath and slow down.

“BDSM is like life. It’s a journey, not a destination.” That is a Domina motto, I have quite a few of them.

 Everything you want to do and see and try will still be there in a week and a year and 10 years from now. You do not have to hurry and get out there.  It won’t disappear from underneath you. There is a Kinky New Year’s Eve Party this year, and every year.  In 3 years, swingers will still be swinging, wax will still be melting, and whips will still be cracking.  

Why am I telling you to slow down?
1. Safety is very important in the world of BDSM.  Some things we do can be dangerous or even life threatening. Permanent damage can be done. The last thing you want to do is rush into something and cause permanent damage.  So take a deep breath. Remember that this is a journey and you are going to learn and try new things from now until you the end of your journey. Start with some education and then you can move on to doing the things you are fantasizing of doing.

2. Sub-frenzy. Look it up and learn the signs. Most of us go through it. And Doms can call it “Top frenzy” but it amounts to the same thing; “an overwhelming feeling of need or excitement, often triggered by the discovery of BDSM or BDSM communities. It is characterized by an urgent drive to find partner/s and gather information and/or experiences. This frenzied state can evoke a powerful mix of emotions, leading to irrational behavior, poor decision-making, and increased vulnerability to exploitation. Individuals may discard common sense, rushing to form attachments or gain experience. Frenzy can affect both new and experienced individuals, potentially causing an imbalance in power dynamics during negotiation, as the Top/bottom with frenzy may mirror the needs of potential partners to appear more desirable or make impulsive decisions due to their excitement.” (Taken from the “BDSM Glossary” from Fetlife)

Welcome to Femdom! Please reach out if you have questions that are not answered here.
I am excited you are here!